Dear Osama,

Long time no hear from! Wish you'd write more. Was that really you on the last tape? (I can't trust the middle guys anymore.)

Ok, alright already. You've made your point. We give. Could you pull the crazies back now? Look at what your causing!

Look, I know you had a beef with us, what with all the money we were sending to Israel, and those troops in Saudia Arabia that you thought defiled Mohammed, and all that almost-genocide going on in Palestine with those U.S. financed guns and bullets popping off kids throwing rocks, and I know you didn't like the way we helped Saddam get all those WMDs to use against the Kurds. Yeah, we know you hated Saddam (he meant the devil to us because he was a socialist, the devil to you because he was an atheist), but could we drop all these minor quibbles for a moment?

I'm not sure you planned this, but we're in deep doodoo because of you. Do your really want a fascist U.S. having an excuse to bomb more Middle Eastern countries? And, you're being used over here as an excuse to crank up bad behavior toward Arabs here and abroad. I think things may have backfired for you.

Look, I'm not going to go all Jesus on you, but check out the writings of Mahatma Ghandi and Martin Luther King, Jr. Their situation was kinda like yours. They felt overwhelmed by enemies, a big government or by social crimes that demanded immediate attention, but instead of acting like their enemy, well, you know what they did. I don't know how you could do this, but I'm quite sure that violence is begetting violence. Your tough guy act is producing some hellava mirror images in my country. And, I don't like it.

I think a number of us over here would like to see those Palestinians treated better and for them to get some land back. But, our hands are tied; we're getting pinched and our Papa Supreme (no, I don't mean the pope) is slowly morphing into a fascist nightmare, and I don't see how this helps you at all.

So, could you do a big switchy-thing and announce that you're going to take the high road and prove that your religion trumps ours 'cause that ain't happening here. And, the world really needs somebody out there on that high road.

Write back if the answer is yes!

Love,
America